Emotional health

Becoming a non-smoker

Two friends, Andrew and Ben are chatting in the pub.

A – My company is doing a trial for a new drug and we need volunteers. Would you be interested?

B – Yes, sure. How does it work?

A – It is very simple, you just need to do something for us on a daily basis. It is going to take several years.

B – All right. Tell me more.

A – Well, there is a catch – this thing can eventually make you older sooner than what is expected.

B – Oh, really? That is not good.

A – Yes, it can age your skin, damage the cells of your body, give you breathing difficulties, cancer …

B – Oh, oh, oh! … Are you sure about that?

A – Yeah! Pretty sure. But our company needs more and more people volunteering for this trial.

B – This is NOT OK. How much do they pay for participating in these trials?

A – No, you don’t understand. They don’t pay anything at all – you need to pay for it!


This is the contract we made with the Tobacco Companies. It was a bad deal


It is like entering an abusive relationship with a charming con and now you came to adore and treasure the one thing that exploits, abuses and threatens you.


How does it happen?


  1. You met a charming con

The cigarettes were appealing and charming to you when you started this contract. For some reason, they convinced you that they would give you a sense of safety, attention, community and so on.  And you believed that you could only get these vital needs from them. Somehow they have convinced you that they, and only they, can provide what you need and that you can’t live without them. 

They got you thinking that cigarettes provide you with relaxation, concentration, and something to do with your hands… Persuaded you that it calms, comforts and supports you, helps you overcome boredom and bond with others.


2. You entered this abusive relationship

You don’t understand why that friend of yours stays with that narcissistic person, whose behaviour is destroying them. It is because familiarity keeps people emotionally hooked on something or someone, in spite of them sometimes being all too aware that what they are in a relationship with is ill-treating them. In that relationship, you entered with the TC you are being abused in a big way.


3. You became a hostage

Like a parasite, smoking appears to be part of you. And like a parasite, it is stealing from you – your youth, health and money. You attached your identity to this “narcissistic partner” and they destroyed your confidence and self-respect, all the while convincing you that you couldn’t live without them. Those cigarettes can disguise themselves as friends, someone you can relax with, console yourself with when times are rough, have a drink with, but… inside you know they are stabbing you in the back.

Every time you try to break up, the ‘ex-abuser’ is going to try to charm and con you back again.


But one day the illusion becomes evident. One day you will know it is enough.

The fact is that, when you smoke a cigarette unless it’s your very first cigarette, you never just smoke one. The mountain of cigarettes is growing day by day. If you think about it logically, there’s always a tipping point.

It is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

When you fall into irreversible damage from your smoking, it will be one single cigarette that tips you over that edge. You don’t know what the cigarette is going to look like. It’s going to look like all the others, probably, and it’s going to taste like the others, and it might be one you don’t even particularly enjoy.

Do you know that “Whatever did I see in you” effect?

That’s what you are going to think when you become free. When cigarettes truly no longer have the same pull for you, you don’t have to resist them anymore.


Is it time to finish the doomed relationship with tobacco? Time to walk away?

I can help

You can do it, in one to three sessions.

Maria da Silva

Maria is a Hypno-CBT Therapist and an expert in helping people understand and overcome their past conditioning and engage in meaningful and peaceful relationships.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

en_GBEnglish (UK)