Anger – Transform it

Anger is part of being human

Anger - Transform it

We all feel angry at times – it’s part of being human. It isn’t necessarily a ‘bad’ emotion; in fact, it is a useful, energizing emotion in its place. It drives us into action against perceived threats, it can help us to realize when something is not working for us and encourage change or motivate us to achieve our goals.

However, anger becomes a serious problem when you express your anger through destructive behaviour. This means you react angrily when something does not go as you wish and your well-being and the well-being of people around you are seriously affected.

This also means that your ability to feel other emotions is blocked and you can’t find alternative ways to express yourself.

The trouble is that anger is a primitive emotion that activates our emotional brain and blocks our rational brain. There are many sources of frustration and this part of our brain has not yet caught up with the complexities of modern life. Things don’t work out how we expect. People don’t do what they’re supposed to do. We don’t get what we want… It is really frustrating that we cannot control everything, isn’t it?

Some people express angry feelings outwards, through physical and verbal aggression and violence, some people direct their anger inwards, such as believing they hate themselves or hurting themselves or denying their basic needs.

The chemical fluctuations that anger activates in our bodies make us focus on the “threat”, without paying attention to anything else around us. The emotional brain is on fire and our rational perspective is completely lost.

As we all know, excessive and misdirected anger is not great for our relationships with other people, at home or at work.

What’s more, if we are in the habit of getting angry when things don’t go as we expect, research shows that our health will suffer. Chronic anger is the biggest predictor of early death through heart disease; bigger even than chronic smoking.

Anger is a learned habit

Most of the time, anger is a learned habit.  Angry feelings are often influenced by our upbringing. Maybe you have grown up in a family where being permanently angry was the norm. This could mean you have angry outbursts whenever you don’t like the way someone is behaving, or whenever you are in a situation you don’t like.

Or maybe you have been brought up to believe that you shouldn’t complain and have been punished for expressing anger as a child. This can make you turn your anger against yourself or cause angry outbursts at inappropriate times. It may also make you feel angrier in general, leading you to react more aggressively in other situations.

Sometimes your present feeling of anger is related to a past difficult experience. Maybe you experienced traumatic situations in the past or you were bullied and you couldn’t express yourself at the time. This means that you find certain situations particularly difficult to deal with, and are more likely to react angrily. But the anger you are feeling in the present is at a level that reflects your past situation and is not entirely about what is happening now.

Anger and your imagination

Anger can be generated – and aggravated – through misuse of the imagination. Anger can be thought of as a type of ‘negative trance state’. We are totally focused on what is bothering us and stuck in the emotional mode. We all have an imagination, but misusing imagination can create problems for us. You can even generate angry feelings and physiological reactions by remembering past anger, or imagining that you are angry.

If we get in a state of trance when we are angry, it makes sense to use a trance state to stop anger from being triggered too easily or too often.

Hypnotherapy, complemented with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help you understand the cause of your anger, give you tools to quickly calm yourself down and channel that energy into something creative.

This way you can smooth your emotional brain, think much more clearly in frustrating situations and creatively find solutions to resolve your problems. Obviously, this will improve your relationships and your performance in every circumstance.

Are you ready to put this primitive force under control and use it in creative ways?

Do you have questions? Feel free to contact me anytime.

When you email me, only me will read it. It comes directly to me and I will personally reply to you. You can be assured of the confidentiality and safety of the process. I will try and answer as soon as possible.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

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Maria da Silva (PhD, DHP Acc Hyp) is a Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist and an expert in helping people understand and overcome their past conditioning and engage in meaningful and peaceful relationships through Nonviolent Communication.